We're living the abomination of abominations,,,,,,,and mostly loving it
OK, I know that we've been through some emotional times here lately, but we seem to be out the other side of that crisis and doing pretty well once again.........save some pretty outrageous work stress...but it beats not paying the mortgage.
Today I had a rare media experience. I turned on local midday AM talk radio to find a raging discussion ensuing about the issue of gay marriage. The commentator Bill Cunningham WLW 700 in Cincinnati was regaling his basically conservative Republican Catholic audience with his trump card argument. If gay marriage can be sanctioned by society, then next, men will want to be sanctioned to marry two women. It appeared to be the "atomic bomb" of arguments. Even gay marriage activists who phoned in to make their case were struck dumb in the face of this "abomination." They proclaimed they never envisioned anything like "that."
We live and feel mundane and generally happy (yes..that's right we are generally happy despite our internal wranglings you encounter here from the three of us.) We know we are stigmatized by our lifestyle and that we would be economically ruined and likely even socially persecuted if people knew about us, so we are more than discreet.... clandestine. But we don't feel abominable. In fact we generally feel pretty healthy and OK about us.
It is interesting to get a view from the other side of your community and to realize..or more likely to be reminded that it is not just here on the Blogosphere but in the r/t community that your life would be judged as an abomination.
It is so hard to imagine so many people with so little to do that they need to spend energy judging others who's lives have no effect on their own.
We've been so intense here and so melancholy lately, perhaps soon our life will lighten and we can share the happier part of our lives. We are not emotionally masochistic, regardless of what has appeared here recently. We also are not about trying to provide a marketable blog. We provide who we are in our present.
Tom
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.
posted by Anonymous @ 9:48 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Anti abortion? I get it. I don't agree, but I get it.
Pro Iraq? I kind of get it. I don't agree, but I kind of get it.
Privatize Social Security? A dumb idea, but I get why others might think it will work.
Uncomfortable with gay/poly/bdsm etc lifestyles? I get it. I am not uncomfortable, but I get why someone else would not want to be gay/poly/bdsm/whatever.
Gay/Poly/any consenting adult marriage ban? I will never, as long as I live on this earth, understand why anyone give a flying rats ass who I marry. What business is it of anyones who I live with or love? I'm not marrying YOU for god's sake. Who cares??????? How does any one else getting married hurt me? How does it even impact me in any way?
And that is the end of my ability to speak on the matter without the use of explatives.
Anyone that needs a governmental or theological sanction to feel secure in their relationship, whether they can get it or not, has quite a way to go before they are ready for a real, healthy, grown up relationship.
The only even remotely helpful thing that marriage does, is enable (force) employers to provide certain financial benefits, which in my opinion, everyone should be able to provide for themselves.
Pretty much any other financial advantage it provides as a legal shorthand - which could just as easily be provided by keeping accurate wills, and powers of attorney, and by creating a simple "General Partnership" or in some cases a "LLP" business agreement, between the parties involved.
"Marriage" as we know it, is more often than not just an excuse to invite the friends over for an expensive formal party - something that I don't believe we need the government's permission to hold.
Hiya Tom and Family...
Thanks for your blog. I came across you through a discussion on the ZA Poly YahooGroups list. Someone posted a link to your bludgeoning of the monogamy myth. Excellent piece. Thanks.
Re your being gobsmacked at the atomic bomb delivered by the radio announcer... Phshew... I hear your pain.
I've just picked up a copy of a book that's already fascinating to me after a five-page read in the bookstore. It's called WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH AMERICA? The Resistable Rise of the American Right by Thomas Frank.
My guess is that it might offer some hints as to why America is so unthinkingly conservative. And unable to apply basic thought hygiene to arguments.
It horrifies me that you live in a country where your polyamorous partenership choice forces you to live a clandestine life.
I've had two experiences of being in poly relationships so far, and I've not had to hide that fact from anyone. And I've not been persecuted or even inconvenienced by it.
I don't think this is necessarily cos of South Africa being a particularly liberal country (our constitution is one of the most liberal in the world, and our leadership is ostensibly left-wing, but I have my doubts about that). I suspect it's more to do with the fact that I'm an artist, surrounded by other artists. And I have a social circle that doesn't see anything 'wrong' with polyamory.
Most of my friends don't identify with it. But they don't disdain it. And they don't disdain me for it.
So hey. You guys have my sympathy and my empathy.
(Thanks to your blogging about your Myers-Briggs types, I went and found some online tests, and I seem to be an INTP. Dominant Introverted Thinking (Introversion, Intuition, Thinking, Perceiving). But that could be how I am today. Cos in general, I'm one seriously conflicted simultaneous extreme-extrovert, and extreme-introvert.)
Have a happy 2007, and may all the truths on your table lead to learning, loving, and laughing.
Blue skies
love
Roy
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