Forever...

In response to Master's declaration of His ownership of me in our post about the cutting, Malcolm commented:

"I think about the assertion that anyone can belong to someone else exclusively for ever ... I could never make such an assertion; nor could I agree that one person can "own" another. Bodies, personalities, yes; but souls aren't in the business of owning and being owned. Free of this 3-D universe, time and forever have no meaning. Tom and sue both may have other tasks in separate times and places in other lives, separate allegiances and responsibilities - who knows? It's nice to dream of "mine forever", but that dream, like every other dream, like every attachment, must be relinquished eventually. We cannot "enter the kingdom of heaven" without relinquishing all our attachments. That's how I feel about the matter.

This is not to say that sue and Tom's attachment is not a great and wonderful thing, here and now. But sooner or later, love will demand a letting go, as it always must."

The notion and language of consensual erotic slavery is difficult to explain to those who do not practice it, who do not live it, who do not experience it as a reality. There is, to be sure, much fiction "literature" about the subject, but it is largely useless in terms of any factual discussion of the topic. Even within the lifestyle community, it is nearly impossible to convene a sensible conversation on the topic -- there are so few genuine practitioners of the art with any real experience from which to offer much input.

Among those who do live this life, definitions of what it is vary widely, as do reasons for doing it, and drives toward it as a way of expressing relatedness. I'd no more presume to speak for other Master/slave pairs than I'd think to explain what it was that led them to choose their place of residence or their careers or their child-rearing methodologies or...

I can speak, at least from my perspective, about how we came to our understanding of M/s, and our relationship.

We became acquainted as participants on an online listserv discussing Domestic Discipline. From very early on, something in our interactions connected. It was as if, out of a list of 2000 members, the two of us (with our very divergent experience and backgrounds) saw each other and just "knew" each other. Don't be confused here. It wasn't that we actually "liked" each other right away. That took awhile. We circled. We danced around. We tested. We dodged and wove. Still, we couldn't stay away from each other. We just kept coming back...

It didn't stay that way of course. By the time we decided to meet in person, things had progressed way beyond our cautious testing the waters. We were meeting as teacher and pupil, but with an eagerness that went far beyond the "first day of school." The energy that drew me across the continent for that first meeting was not simply curiosity. I tore across what is generally thought of as "fly-over" territory with a good deal of anticipation and trepidation, but also with a singing in my heart that I didn't understand then, but now know was a "going to meet" the One to whom I've always belonged -- a true going home. That very first day, in the hotel, wandering the halls, before even actually meeting, we passed each other. I remember thinking, "I bet that's them..." Later, when we actually did meet, it turned out that I'd been right.

As we came, over time to become friends and then lovers, we grew into a deeper and deeper power exchange dynamic as well. It wasn't something that we pursued consciously. It simply was the most natural expression of who we were with one another. For a very long time, we resisted the Master/slave language. It seemed "odd" to us in some sense. Too much lurid fiction... In the end, we came to use the description of Owner and owned, not because it was fashionable; not because it was sexy; not because it was stylish or edgy. We took that description for ourselves because it was the truth. It is. It has ever been the fact for us.

I'm not sure, Malcolm, about "entering the kingdom of heaven." I am sure that we've been around together before this. I am sure that we'll come around together again after this. Perhaps the relationships will shift, but I am certain that we've found each other through many many lifetimes and will again and again. Spirits link to one another in many interesting ways. I am clear that my children came to me quite specifically because they needed me (especially my dear "mermaid" daughter who never has been entirely comfortable in her land-bound skin). I am sure there have been those I've met here and there along the way that I was supposed to meet because they belonged to me in other lifetimes (you perhaps?) and they are precious every one.

Ownership and being owned is not a bad thing... Not when the owning and the being owned are touched with the possibility of transforming things into great treasures...

swan

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