Thinking About Power
These are interesting times.
We sat up late the night before the surgery, sitting on the patio, talking about many things -- not really talking about other things.
Master reminisced about His time in the streets, protesting the Vietnam War. He talked about being a young man, believing passionately in what He was doing, and knowing the first taste of His own power and control as cops would quail and turn away in the face of His certainty and determination. He told me that He has never doubted His Dominance since that time...
We've been a week now since His surgery... It has been a week that has had Him almost entirely dependent on T and I for most of His care. Most would assume that those circumstances would reduce the sense of power and Dominance that would be manifest in our household and in our relationships. To believe that would miss the deepest realities.
It is true that the physical needs are tended to by T and I; that the schedules are set and kept by us; that there are limits and requirements for compliance with routines that we are imposing at this juncture. However all of it is in absolute service to Him and His recovery, His well-being, and His comfort.
Last night, in a for now rare moment of levity, I joked that I might decide to run wild and be out of control -- act wild and have a fit and throw things and behave badly. He simply looked at me and said (very quietly), "you would never behave that way."
His tone was so sure and so reassuring that it calmed whatever unsettledness and sense of being strung out that I was feeling, and I immediately replied, "No, Sir." I curled in next to Him. He patted my head. Order returned to the universe.
swan Link
posted by Sue @ 2:03 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
I always thought that the desire for love and the desire for power were incompatible, but maybe I'm in denial.
Searabbit -- you are right in some sense about what I was feeling; it was a bit like a "child" asking for the reassurance that He still knew who I was and who He was and who "we" were in spite of all that has gone on in this oh so busy and difficult week. I really was teasing a bit, not really intending to be "bad" at all, but hoping to lighten things a bit. I got some lightness, but more, I got His sure steadiness... Even as He recovers and struggles to regain strength, He holds me close.
swan
lighterate -- Welcome to our place. It is nice to have you here. You write, "I always thought that the desire for love and the desire for power were incompatible." It is an interesting observation to make from this particular bit of writing. We do, in fact, practice a power exchange dynamic and a romantic love relationship. Not all relationships that are based on active power exchange dynamics include "love" as part of the deal. However, I will submit that all relationships have some sort of power exchange at their core. Romantic love is no exception. It is simply true that we choose to consciously acknowledge that facet of our relating, and arrange it in a fashion that matches our personal sexual/erotic orientations and personalities. We understand what it is, talk about it, negotiate it actively and deliberately, and manipulate it with intent. Therefore, it does not manipulate us, nor does it become a tool or a weapon for us to use to manipulate one another as it most often does in many more traditional (vanilla) relationships.
swan
You all are so wise in your relationships swan, I used to wonder why most vanilla partnerships are not so wise.
I realized long ago that those of us that live less conventional relationships have had to think rather more about how we live, possibly a habit vanilla couple should get into more, specially today.
Whatever, your comments are much appreciated.Paul :-)
I often wonder at those who post about Dominance as a transient property that exists so long as you feel "strong enough," or when you "spank enough," or in our case currently, when you're "well enough."
Dominance is in my experience something you are. If you are Dominant then you are no matter what transient circumstances occur. If you are not there is no amount of Top Space BDSM play, or conference seminars, or morning affirmations that will make you Dominant.
In this same light, love, being the expression of what one feels for another, is the honest intimate expression of a Dominant. Dominance and love are not, in my opinion, mutually exclusive in any way. They reinforce each other.
I don't mean that I don't believe people cannot change, but I do believe that for one who is truly not Dominant to undergo a transformation to becoming Dominant is rare.
There are Dominants and submissives whose lives eminate from their identities as such. There are those too, who work at practicing being Dominant and submissive, out of a sense of need for this in their lives and relationships. Perhaps in the latte case there is some difficulty reconciling love and Dominance. I'm not sure.
All the best:)
Tom
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.
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