What do you say?
Master had His pre-surgical hospital visit yesterday. So I went along. Mostly to be a second set of ears, but also to schlepp all His stuff. The man does not travel lightly: there is His planner (which weighs a ton), and there is the fanny pack (where He stashes the gazillion knives that He would normally carry in His pockets but...).
Anyway, we met first with a nurse who took a medical history and did blood tests and urine sample and got an x-ray done and ran an EKG and... Of course part of all of that is getting the information about who will be able to get information about His medical condition during and after the surgery. That would be: T, of course, and me.
Nurse person is dutifully writing notes, and asks, "T is ?"
Master answers, "she is my wife." At which point the nurse person looks at me and says, "and you are?"
"Family member." I answer. She never blinks. Just calmly records the information on her form. Life goes on.
We get all the stuff done and proceed on to the 3rd floor to meet with the therapy folks. Same song, second verse: first we meet with the occupational therapy lady, who is very cool. Once again we go through the "T is the wife, this is the family member" deal. No sweat. Like most medical professionals, she doesn't care. Doesn't become something that she needs to know.
And then we meet Jennifer, the physical therapist... "T is my wife and this is a "family member." Jennifer (young and intense and bright) looks me up and down quizzically and then peers at me intently and says, "what sort of family member are you?"
Well, what do you say? There just aren't any answers that are going to make real sense given what is likely to transpire once we all get to the hospital in a week and a half. I could say cousin or sister, but the reality is that I don't ACT like a cousin or a sister, so that is just not going to fly.
I looked at the curious Jennifer and said, "I am the other wife."
"OH!'' she said.
End of conversation.
After that, she stuck to knee exercises.
swan Link
posted by Sue @ 9:26 AM
7 comments
7 Comments:
Gabriel -- In the "scene" we sometimes call it "vanilla violation."
searabbit, anja, kaylem -- yes it was one of those moments that you sort of wish you had on film ;-)
Patricia -- We're "poly." Read, Dear.
patrica batton said...
Why would someone want TWO wives?
2:57 PM
Since I'm the possessor of those two wives, I suppose I may have standing to comment here.
It's because I love them both as dearly as life itself and I refuse to accept the religious and social claptrap that if a man loves more than one woman then one must lose, and the other must have him exclusively. I wonder how in the world people who believe this and have more than one child ever manage to love more than one child and not put the others out for adoption.
Loving more than one spouse does not need to breed jealousy. It can create the reverse: "compersion."
More love only makes exponentially more love, if one loses the absurd social mores of the fifth through the twenieth centuries.
All the best:)
Tom
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.
Tom, you said that well.
Sue, please have Tom or T carry a video camera at the ready when you go for these interviews again.
"Since I'm the possessor of those two wives, I suppose I may have standing to comment here."
Not trying to be a wet blanket or anything, but wouldn't this make your relationship polygamy rather than polyamory?
Perhaps I have gotten the wrong impression, but T and Swan do not play with others, do they?
I really not trying to be obnoxious - just wondering...
love it! Hugs...I so hope things go well!
anja, we had some issues in the beginning. None of us really expected this and so we were "surprised" our poly and had to learn our way through all the emotions it brought up. There's a post somewhere back there called "How we all met" that talks about that. In poly circles, there's a term called "compersion" which is the ability to experience joy when someone you love is experiencing joy with someone they love. It is the opposite of jealousy. It comes when you realise that having your love in love with another person doesn't mean they are "not in love" with you. Jealousy can come up for us still I guess. Mostly we just deal with it. It's a feeling like all the other feelings we have. Not bad or good. Just there to deal with. We're humans and we have feelings.
swan
The post "how we all met" is at http://theswansheart.blogspot.com/2005/06/how-we-all-met.html
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