Was that a dream?
We've worked so hard. Physical therapy and ice packs on the hour day after day... Nights when sleep is interrupted over and over to change the ice in the "ice bondage" machine, and when even the effort to walk to the bathroom seems too much of an effort.
Just getting through the rounds of appointments and exercises and meals and getting a shower and a walk each day sucks up all our time and energy. Just monitoring the medications and the blood tests and making sure that the towels and the sheets and the clothes get washed keeps us tired to the bone. All the lifting and hauling has muscles and joints aching and stiff.
Even being able to roll over in bed to hug has been a distant dream that seemed like it might never come again.
But leaps forward happen suddenly with this. We've learned that, too. All at once, Master can lift His own leg. Within the last two days, He's begun to make the transition from the walker to a cane. Within the last twenty-four hours, His use of pain medication has decreased by half...
Then, last night, in the middle of the night, He was there, wrapped around me, holding me tight and hard... Really? Can we do this? "We'll never know if we don't try," He told me with some sense of urgency.
No need to tell me twice!
With great trepidation and extreme care and caution I climbed on top of Him -- so aware of that knee and that "oh my gosh" incision that just Monday had the staples removed... No shrieking happened, and so I began the rhythm we know so well. Holding my breath -- watching His face for any sign that things were amiss. It seemed OK, and ohhhhh...it was so good!!!
We loved each other there in the darkness -- not, perhaps, with complete abandon. We were cautious but it worked!! Whoohooo! We made it and it was joyous and glorious, and damn! On day 12, I think it was down right prodigious! Left me laughing and crying for joy, and He didn't seem unhappy either ;-)
We both fell asleep again fairly quickly. It was sometime later, when I woke up and wondered -- was that a dream???
swan Link
posted by Sue @ 4:53 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
"Whoohooo!"
Great to hear that sound. *grin*
Yes, a dream, but only in the sense that life is all a dream.
But in the darkness, sue? Don't you put the light on? We only do it in the darkness if there's a power failure. How can you watch his face if it's dark? I'm having some difficulty with imagining the scene here. "In the darkness" sounds good but I always read what you write carefully and try to re-create the scene, so I'm putting as little light in with it all.
After this inconsequential banter, I must tell you I am glad to hear Tom is recovering well, it's only what I expected from what I know of him and you.
Great news swan, both for Himself and you, lets hope that the improvements continue. :-)
Ahhhh, Malcolm -- smile. Not total darkness, no. We keep a dim light on in the bathroom. Especially now that He is walking so unsteadily -- we worry about Him stumbling and falling. And I keep a candle burning in our bedroom as well, so there was some soft, dim light -- more than sufficient for me to see His face at close range. Since it is a face I know well, every nuance speaks to me more clearly than words would, especially in those circumstances...
swan
temptation -- will have to think about that tag... The toy collection is such that narrowing it down to 5 or 10 is going to take some considering. Part of the question here is what is the definition of "favorite?" I will get to that maybe today.
swan
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