FINALLY INTO SUBSPACE

This is an exerpt of a piece sue wrote about the evolution of her experience of subspace. It is part of a larger anthology of essays she did a little over a year ago that are likely grist for about 8 Blog posts. It is the first time it has been published.

Finally into subspace – A long time ago, when I was still playing at low end spanking games with my then husband, I used to go regularly to subspace. He never, ever really challenged me with anything that made it very difficult to cope with from the standpoint of being difficult masochistically. Frankly, playing with him was pretty dull. I learned how to get off to subspace pretty easily. I knew all the tricks of managing my breathing and my muscles and my thinking so that I didn’t get freaked out or scared or frustrated and I almost always got away into the blissed-out happy place of a scene within the first few minutes.
Then I started playing regularly with my Master, and the happy trips to subspace stopped. The truth is that a sadist just doesn’t get much out of beating a blissed-out submissive. He wants me here, struggling and sweating and working to hold on through every stroke. If I’m not feeling it, and hurting, then he’s not enjoying it.
I figured that I was doing something wrong. I figured that I just had lost the knack. If I could get a better handle on my breathing or my concentration or my relaxation, then I would once again be able to find my way into the magic doorway to subspace. Or maybe, I’ve reasoned, it was a trust issue: maybe I just don’t trust him enough to let myself go with him. Then too, maybe he’s not doing it right: maybe if he’d just give me more of a warm-up, more chance to build some endorphins, then I’d have better luck making it into subspace.
So my thinking went until just about Valentine’s Day of this year when the oddest thing happened. We were into a fairly intense session, and I was working hard to hang on and be good, when he asked me what I was doing. It seemed and odd question and I was uncertain what to answer, but I told him that I was “trying to be good, Sir.” He asked me if I was getting off, which confused me, and I guess my look conveyed that, because he asked me, “into subspace?” When I replied, “no, Sir,” he said, “awwww, Honey!” At that moment, I felt the strangest letting go sensation in my mind. It was as if some hook dropped. As if some leash that had been in place had been released and suddenly, I was gone.
Wow! Shazzam! I suddenly knew what I had not realized before: the thing that keeps me here or turns me lose to go into subspace, is his intent. If he lets me go, then I’m gone. If he holds me with his mind, then no amount of struggling on my part will get me there. Tighter than any bonds that he might impose on my body, he holds my mind and my soul.
This I did not know.

Written by Rahereticsswan (sue)

All the best:)

Tom

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.

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