Asking

Master could simply demand. He could just make the decision as to when and where and how I will be spanked. Sometimes that is the way it is with us.

Lately, though, I've been under the gun for time and energy, and He has backed way off; sensitive to my needs and my schedule. So, last weekend, after three soccer games, when Sunday afternoon rolled around, and I was muttering under my breath about how much there was still to do, He did not take me by the hand and pull me to Him and decree that I needed a spanking -- even though I did. Desperately. This in spite of the fact that He wanted to do that. He judged that doing that would send me into a tizzy of fussing and worrying about all the chores and "teacher crap" that I would not be able to get to.

But He didn't share any of that thinking with me -- just went off to Himself and busied Himself online as I ironed and laundered and stewed away...

It turned out that it was me who went to Him, at about 2:30 in the afternoon, when I'd finally finished what seemed like a towering heap of ironing, and asked, "do you think you might have time to spank me sometime this afternoon?" in my tiniest, littlest, least demanding voice. I didn't want to push Him, but I needed Him.

To my absolute joy, He was thrilled. He told me that He'd been holding off because He didn't want to disturb me. Awwwwww...

Of course, at that point, the timing was His to determine, and He did make me wait until He was ready. I think there was something on the television that He was watching. So I had to sit and wait patiently until it was time. Then He took me by the hand and led me into our bedroom and put me into restraints. He decided to spank me first over my jeans, and then over my panties, and then finally on my bare butt. The act of asking for a spanking seemed to give Him license to crank the level of things up some. He used two of His favorite wooden paddles that are both fairly intense as well as the rattan cane, and finished with the newest heavy leather paddle.

There is always a point, during an intense session, where I need to get past a sort of rage that bubbles up from deep inside of me. This time was no different. Always, when that point comes, I am grateful for the restraints that allow me to rage and do no harm -- rail and fight without breaking position or running away. It keeps me safe and secure and allows me to ride the full range of emotions to which I am subject in that kind of session. We came to the end and I remember feeling exhausted and sleepy and deeply loved and connected. This time, the pain washed me into His arms...

swan

Link