We've moved

We've moved!
We've had terrible trouble with Blogger. Couldn't get T on here to save us. So we've set up a new blog... It is called The Heron Clan --

www.theheronclan.blogspot.com

I think all the links are there, and all the old posts are there as monthly archives. It isn't as elegant as I'd like but it is up and running as of tonight. Hopefully our friends will be able to find us there... Please...?

swan

Trust

Is trust something that is felt, or something that is done?

Is it passive, or active?

A given, or a choice?

swan

Link

Master's Tender, Sensitive Side

Jewels (http://lockandki.blogspot.com) has told us that she worries that people only see one side of Master, and that they have the impression that while He is very bright, He is also evil, and arrogant, and wickedly mean... Well, there is some validity to that. He makes His career out of that bright, arrogant, and (when necessary) wickedly mean personna. A good political advocate and champion doesn't "win" for the people who need Him by being sweet and soft spoken when it comes time to go after what He wants and believes in. The people who depend on the advocacy work that Master does, need that "killer" instinct He brings to bear on their behalf -- and He is damn good at what He does. Make no mistake about it.

On the other hand, He isn't always the "tough guy." Sometimes, even Masters need rescuing.

Take this morning for instance... There was "an incident."

Early this morning, as I was preparing to leave for school, and Master was doing the things that He normally does to facilitate that process -- fixing breakfast and my lunch and moving the cars around, He started to go out our front door.

Except a BIRD had taken refuge on the front porch. You see, it was cold and rainy last night. There was a large, empty flower pot out there on the porch and the BIRD had taken refuge from the storm. Master opened the front door, stepped out, and the BIRD ATTACKED Him... Scared the bloody hell out of Him!!!

You see, Master is deathly afraid of birds... Pretty much all birds. Canary, robin, starling, humming bird, eagle -- doesn't really matter. Birds freak Him out.

He told me the BIRD was about THIS BIG (picture something about the size of a chicken), and that He thought it probably had sharp teeth. He really didn't know what kind of BIRD it was -- only that it was vicious and determined to try and kill Him and that there was no way that He would be able to get next door to see T this morning because, after all, the BIRD was still out there.

Poor Master.

I finished my breakfast. Headed for the front door. Opened it up. Stepped out and shooed the mourning dove off the front porch. Silly creature just wanted to stay out of the rain. I think, however, it had had just about enough rotten, crazy people for one morning.

Poor BIRD.

I'm surprised He keeps a swan around here, if you really want to know...

swan

Do you slow down to look at accidents on the highway?

Interesting bit of data.

I keep a statistic counter on here. Nothing very fancy, but it tells me about number of page loads, etc. I check it from time to time. Satisfies my curiosity about how many folks are actually looking...

What shows up rather dramatically, is that while all of that twisting and turning was going on here a month or so ago -- while folks were agonizing over the agonizing... The number of hits on this blog hit all time highs. Nearly doubled.

Hmmmm...

The other interesting bit is that, as I've settled down and calmed down and found a quiet place at the center again, all those page loads have dropped away rather dramatically. Seems serenity and calm is boring. Pain and agony is much more interesting to read about.

Taking note of that.

swan

Blessing the Whole Self...

Sometimes Kids really get it.

I teach in a small Catholic school. Since I am not Catholic, I participate in the religious life of the place with reverence, but at some distance. That sometimes gives me an interesting vantage point.

Every Monday morning we take the munchkins off to mass. From big ones to little ones, the whole gang marches off to church. The two oldest grades are matched up with the littlest kids as "buddies" for this exercise, partly to help maintain order, and partly to help in the educational process of how the whole thing works. So my 7th graders take kindergartners to church each week.

There is one little guy who looks like an angel. If he'd been painted on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, he couldn't be more adorable. With blonde hair and great big, innocent eyes, he is simply as sweet and perfect as a small child can get -- and as clueless about the proceedings as a five year old might be expected to be...

At the beginning of the gospel reading, Catholics go through a ritual blessing of themselves that involves making the sign of the cross, with the thumb of their right hand, on their forehead, lips, and then finally over their hearts. It is a gesture that they all make very automatically and very quickly. This little guy has obviously been taken to church often enough that he has picked up on this move, or perhaps he's been taught it.

At any rate, on Monday, I happened to be watching him as this particular moment arrived. Everyone made the appropriate blessing gesture, including my little angel boy. However, he didn't stop with the requisite forehead, lips, and heart -- he proceeded on down the torso and made the sign of the cross on his penis as well!!!

Heathen that I am, I thought I might lose it right there in the midst of the faithful. It was so utterly pricelessly innocent and perfect. So wonderfully genuinely sweet and so grand. I kept it together, knew no one but me saw it, and sang a song of praise to the god of children and blessed penises...

Glory be!!!

swan

Say What???

Ever since we did all that Myers-Briggs business, I've been gnawing on this little bit from Master's profile --

"ENFPs...have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others."

Hello?

I got caught in some fairly significant cognitive dissonance with that piece. So did He, to be honest.

There is simply no question about the Dominance under which I live, or where it comes from. So, when the concept of His not liking to control others was thrown out, it was something of a conversation stopper, to say the least. I've been mulling that one over ever since.

Here's where I am with it at this point.

I think it is true. He is not interested in "controlling others." Not even me. Control is mundane and mostly boring. He figures I can do that myself, and I suspect He prefers and expects that I ought to do it. In fact, when I don't do it, He gets annoyed. Much of the problem that blew up a few weeks ago when things spiraled into a crisis around here arose from the reality that my emotions took me to a level where I was no longer doing that.

There are those in the lifestyle who engage in a kind of power exchange that involves minute levels of control of the submissive partner by the Dominant partner. I think that such relationships have, at their core, a payoff of a very high level of "attentiveness." There is the certain surety, on the part of the submissive member of the pair that they are "seen" by the Dominant. Notice is a given in such dynamics. You cannot control at such a level without attending very closely to the details of the submissive's life and daily routines.

The dynamic here is not founded in that sort of exchange. I am owned, and that does not change when He is not looking at me, or focused on me in the moment. My life is service to His wants, needs, and desires. Too, our agreement is founded in an assumption that He will care for me and for my needs. That foundation remains even if there is no clear and immediate direction or communication from Him to me to reinforce it. The ownership is overarching.

Sometimes, life intrudes. There are significant demands that pull his attention and energy away. My role is to remain in place, to serve, to stay still, to hold the center. I know who I am, and to whom I belong. I do not need His control, even if I might sometimes want it.

There is the safety of the place that I curl into curl into when it is time to sleep each night -- pulled tightly under His chin, listening to His heart and His breathing. In that moment, I understand, that I can control, what is given to me to control by the one who owns my heart -- always and all ways.

swan

War On Porn

When Sunday morning rolls around here, it's time for TV's talking heads. Today, George Stephanopolis and Tim Russert and the gang are all fussing about Harriet's Supreme Court nomination and the impending possibility of indictments from the Special Prosecutor's office -- all important news, but there's another bit of news that is under the radar for most people I guess. Alberto Gonzales, is waging a War on Porn. Backed by the Religious Right, with their enormous influence on this president and his administration, a law which was intended to protect children from the pornography industry, is being turned on those of us who have nothing at all to do with child pornography.

If you read very far on the blogs, you've heard about it as NCSF gets involved, and the highest profile names in the lifestyle begin to pull the plug on their websites. That's because "They" are coming after "Us" simply because they have enough political clout to do it. They've extended the definitions of obscenity to include just about any mention of just about every kink one can imagine, and are determined to apply the law to any an all text and image occurrences of what is, by their definition now, pornography. That's us, friends.

Back in the dark hours after the election last November, I remember feeling fear that the country I'd known and loved my whole life had suddenly become a place that was now scary and unwelcoming -- a place where I was no longer safe. That sensation has now come to fruition. My government is now actively engaged in prosecuting people like me, simply because of how I live and think. The reality is that there is nothing about my lifestyle that is harmful to anyone. I live and work and contribute in my community as a responsible citizen. I do not harm anyone, nor does my lifestyle. The attacks that are being launched by my government are the result of a determination that my "way of life" is unacceptable, even when that way of life is not imposed on or even visible to anyone else (unless they actively choose to look).

I am honestly afraid. I don't know how far these people might go in prosecuting this stuff. I fear they might go as far as they can get away with. I know that, should they choose to take it to the limit, I don't have the means to fight them. They surely could destroy me and mine. How much of a risk should I take? Should we take? Ours isn't the "juiciest" blog out here, but we have surely talked about our BDSM lifestyle. There's plenty here, if someone wants to make an issue. Sigh.

I do like this letter from Carnal Droog's site. I found it compliments of a link from Danae:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/carnal_droog/7365.html
Time to make some decisions I guess...

swan

Why?

Gabriel's been musing about the ethics of Master/slave relationships over at Once Bitten http://www.keeperandkept.blogspot.com . There is surely food for thought in what he has written. It is worth considering, for those of us who do this, and for those who read about those of us who do this, or care about those of us who do this. The notion that there is (or could be) some ethical / philosophical foundation for our practices is, I believe of value to explore.

However, Gabriel's discussion, and the re-exploration of the Myers Briggs type profiles of these last few days has pushed me off in another direction. Coupled with some sort of low-key murmuring coming from various comments here and there (on our blog and on others as well), I've begun to hear a sort of sound that I suspect asks the question, "why do you do this?" It is really about the wonderings of people who, when they see obvious discomfort, obvious struggle, obvious unhappiness, consider whether the relationship dynamic that I live within, and even the relationship itself might be unhealthy, abusive, or even just plain wrong. There've been intimations that my Master is just an awful, abusive, evil, rotten, worthless, son-of-a-gun, and the general sense from more than one corner is that, if I were in my right mind, I'd be out of here.

So, I've been in a mood to ponder the "why" question of staying in a relationship when that relationtionship is not (at least in the particular moment) one that is an easy fit, or in its present configuration or manifestation making me "happy."

I'm feeling like I can do that today because I'm actually feeling pretty solid, stable, sane, and yes, even happy.

It should go without much explanation, that my relationship and my choices are mine. They fit me, and they work for me. What I have to say here is in no way meant to be prescriptive or descriptive for anyone else. Nor is what I have to say here intended to elicit praise or admiration or sympathy or support from anyone. I am attempting mostly to make things clear for myself.

Ours is a relationship that is grounded in deep and abiding love and affection. It is also firmly founded in an M/s (total power exchange) dynamic which includes SM elements (primarily erotic and disciplinary adult consensual spanking). We believe that we were "meant" to find each other, and that we have quite possibly (likely) shared other lifetimes together. There are many specifics of out power exchange dynamic that would seem very informal, perhaps even casual, to an outside observer. That is what works for us. There is underlying that, an absolute definitive line which we understand which binds us together and which is, for us, not subject to question.

It is that line, when it becomes evident, that I believe brings some to a point of questioning our relationship. Because, when I run up against the line, in places where it actually matters to me, I react. Sometimes sharply and sometimes with a great deal of intensity. To become intensely and immediately and fully aware of the exact place and moment and manner in which one has lost some part of a formerly held bit of personal control can be shocking. It is radically different than to simply contemplate the possibility of that eventuality.

I am a strong-willed, intense, bright, proud woman. Such places give me pause. Sometimes they cause me pain. Sometimes they even frighten me. I react. I struggle. I rage. I curl into a ball of fur and claws and spit and hiss and get downright ugly. I am not an easy slave. I think that Tanos has written about the reality that he refers to as "reactance" within Master/slave relationships. I first read about it on the Internal Enslavement website. It describes the internal resistance that can be experienced when one encounters these moments where what was "mine" becomes suddenly "not mine." When that becomes an actuality beyond just a theory, it can be a real shock and can generate a very visceral reaction.

I honor and envy those for whom the path into slavery is peaceful and serene and calm. I am in awe. It is not the way I seem to go. Each new stretch is a stretch.

I still stretch. For me, this is a learning experience. A path to walk. I chose this, knowing that there would be joyous and glorious moments, shared with a man that I loved, and that I knew loved me. That has remained a core truth. I also knew there would be challenges. Some of what I imagined, what I feared, has never materialized. Some of what I never imagined has come to be my life.

I learn daily.

When I lived inside of a socially sanctioned, completely normal, absolutely vanilla marriage, raising two children, and doing all the regular stuff that my society had taught me I would and should do, I encountered things that stretched my ability to encompass them. I had days that made me terribly unhappy, and I ran through periods of great emotional upheaval and bitterness. I came to view that relationship as a laboratory for learning about life, and more importantly for learning about myself. I came to know the limits of my patience, the depths of my strength, the power of my love. In the end, I came to know fully who I was and was not. I understood that it was better to live free and outcast than to be "accepted" if that meant I had to live a lie of a life. It was because of the crucible of that sad marriage that I garnered the courage to take the steps toward finding the road out into the possibility of my life.

I know that some see my struggles and my sorrows and my anguishing over the hard days, and wonder if I've made a good choice. That is perhaps my failing. I do not sing enough of the sunny songs and the happy days. Still, I know the whys. I know that I am well and strong and deeply loved and cared for in the depths of a family that is good for me. I know that while I may rage and growl and whine and whimper, that the One who holds me WILL hold me (tightly or loosely) as He sees fit. I know that what others see of my life is only what I write here, through the haze of my wonderings. Somedays that is clearer than others. None can be blamed if the words do not paint the picture better, brighter, calmer, sweeter.

swan

Portrait of an ENFP

And once you get this started, there's no stopping. Here's Master:

Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving

The Champion Advocate Inspirer

As an ENFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system.

ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.

ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents. They are good at most things which interest them. Project-oriented, they may go through several different careers during their lifetime. To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values. An ENFP needs to feel that they are living their lives as their true Self, walking in step with what they believe is right. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their lives and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values.

An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals. Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values. ENFPs who remain centered will usually be quite successful at their endeavors. Others may fall into the habit of dropping a project when they become excited about a new possibility, and thus they never achieve the great accomplishments which they are capable of achieving.

Most ENFPs have great people skills. They are genuinely warm and interested in people, and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships. ENFPs almost always have a strong need to be liked. Sometimes, especially at a younger age, an ENFP will tend to be "gushy" and insincere, and generally "overdo" in an effort to win acceptance. However, once an ENFP has learned to balance their need to be true to themselves with their need for acceptance, they excel at bringing out the best in others, and are typically well-liked. They have an exceptional ability to intuitively understand a person after a very short period of time, and use their intuition and flexibility to relate to others on their own level.

Because ENFPs live in the world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivous to these types of concerns. When they do have to perform these tasks, they do not enjoy themselves. This is a challenging area of life for most ENFPs, and can be frustrating for ENFP's family members.

An ENFP who has "gone wrong" may be quite manipulative - and very good it. The gift of gab which they are blessed with makes it naturally easy for them to get what they want. Most ENFPs will not abuse their abilities, because that would not jive with their value systems.

ENFPs sometimes make serious errors in judgment. They have an amazing ability to intuitively perceive the truth about a person or situation, but when they apply judgment to their perception, they may jump to the wrong conclusions.

ENFPs who have not learned to follow through may have a difficult time remaining happy in marital relationships. Always seeing the possibilities of what could be, they may become bored with what actually is. The strong sense of values will keep many ENFPs dedicated to their relationships. However, ENFPs like a little excitement in their lives, and are best matched with individuals who are comfortable with change and new experiences.

Having an ENFP parent can be a fun-filled experience, but may be stressful at times for children with strong Sensing or Judging tendancies. Such children may see the ENFP parent as inconsistent and difficult to understand, as the children are pulled along in the whirlwind life of the ENFP. Sometimes the ENFP will want to be their child's best friend, and at other times they will play the parental authoritarian. But ENFPs are always consistent in their value systems, which they will impress on their children above all else, along with a basic joy of living.

ENFPs are basically happy people. They may become unhappy when they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. Consequently, ENFPs work best in situations where they have a lot of flexibility, and where they can work with people and ideas. Many go into business for themselves. They have the ability to be quite productive with little supervision, as long as they are excited about what they're doing.

Because they are so alert and sensitive, constantly scanning their environments, ENFPs often suffer from muscle tension. They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.

ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum. They have many gifts which they will use to fulfill themselves and those near them, if they are able to remain centered and master the ability of following through.


I love you, Sir.
swan

Portrait of an INFJ

Figured jewels put up her Myers Briggs profile. Hadn't thought about mine for awhile. Master and I did ours just before we got together (it shows we are absolutely incompatible as I recall...). Anyway, when she posted hers, I got to wondering about mine again and went and looked. It makes a couple of things clearer again about some of the stuff that goes on with me...

Things like that drive for orderliness, the tendency toward perfectionism, the urge to blame myself, and that business of sensing things about the way things are that I then can't explain to anyone in any coherent fashion... Oh dear...

Here it is --

Portrait of an INFJ - Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging

As an INFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in primarily via intuition. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit with your personal value system.

INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals. Artistic and creative, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. Only one percent of the population has an INFJ Personality Type, making it the most rare of all the types.

INFJs place great importance on havings things orderly and systematic in their outer world. They put a lot of energy into identifying the best system for getting things done, and constantly define and re-define the priorities in their lives. On the other hand, INFJs operate within themselves on an intuitive basis which is entirely spontaneous. They know things intuitively, without being able to pinpoint why, and without detailed knowledge of the subject at hand. They are usually right, and they usually know it. Consequently, INFJs put a tremendous amount of faith into their instincts and intuitions. This is something of a conflict between the inner and outer worlds, and may result in the INFJ not being as organized as other Judging types tend to be. Or we may see some signs of disarray in an otherwise orderly tendency, such as a consistently messy desk.

INFJs have uncanny insight into people and situations. They get "feelings" about things and intuitively understand them. As an extreme example, some INFJs report experiences of a psychic nature, such as getting strong feelings about there being a problem with a loved one, and discovering later that they were in a car accident. This is the sort of thing that other types may scorn and scoff at, and the INFJ themself does not really understand their intuition at a level which can be verbalized. Consequently, most INFJs are protective of their inner selves, sharing only what they choose to share when they choose to share it. They are deep, complex individuals, who are quite private and typically difficult to understand. INFJs hold back part of themselves, and can be secretive.

But the INFJ is as genuinely warm as they are complex. INFJs hold a special place in the heart of people who they are close to, who are able to see their special gifts and depth of caring. INFJs are concerned for people's feelings, and try to be gentle to avoid hurting anyone. They are very sensitive to conflict, and cannot tolerate it very well. Situations which are charged with conflict may drive the normally peaceful INFJ into a state of agitation or charged anger. They may tend to internalize conflict into their bodies, and experience health problems when under a lot of stress.

Because the INFJ has such strong intuitive capabilities, they trust their own instincts above all else. This may result in an INFJ stubborness and tendency to ignore other people's opinions. They believe that they're right. On the other hand, INFJ is a perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential. INFJs are rarely at complete peace with themselves - there's always something else they should be doing to improve themselves and the world around them. They believe in constant growth, and don't often take time to revel in their accomplishments. They have strong value systems, and need to live their lives in accordance with what they feel is right. In deference to the Feeling aspect of their personalities, INFJs are in some ways gentle and easy going. Conversely, they have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families. They don't believe in compromising their ideals.

INFJ is a natural nurturer; patient, devoted and protective. They make loving parents and usually have strong bonds with their offspring. They have high expectations of their children, and push them to be the best that they can be. This can sometimes manifest itself in the INFJ being hard-nosed and stubborn. But generally, children of an INFJ get devoted and sincere parental guidance, combined with deep caring.

In the workplace, the INFJ usually shows up in areas where they can be creative and somewhat independent. They have a natural affinity for art, and many excel in the sciences, where they make use of their intuition. INFJs can also be found in service-oriented professions. They are not good at dealing with minutia or very detailed tasks. The INFJ will either avoid such things, or else go to the other extreme and become enveloped in the details to the extent that they can no longer see the big picture. An INFJ who has gone the route of becoming meticulous about details may be highly critical of other individuals who are not.

The INFJ individual is gifted in ways that other types are not. Life is not necessarily easy for the INFJ, but they are capable of great depth of feeling and personal achievement.


For those who have lived through the swirling with me and struggled to make sense of it all...

That all makes perfect sense I bet

swan

We're living the abomination of abominations,,,,,,,and mostly loving it

OK, I know that we've been through some emotional times here lately, but we seem to be out the other side of that crisis and doing pretty well once again.........save some pretty outrageous work stress...but it beats not paying the mortgage.

Today I had a rare media experience. I turned on local midday AM talk radio to find a raging discussion ensuing about the issue of gay marriage. The commentator Bill Cunningham WLW 700 in Cincinnati was regaling his basically conservative Republican Catholic audience with his trump card argument. If gay marriage can be sanctioned by society, then next, men will want to be sanctioned to marry two women. It appeared to be the "atomic bomb" of arguments. Even gay marriage activists who phoned in to make their case were struck dumb in the face of this "abomination." They proclaimed they never envisioned anything like "that."

We live and feel mundane and generally happy (yes..that's right we are generally happy despite our internal wranglings you encounter here from the three of us.) We know we are stigmatized by our lifestyle and that we would be economically ruined and likely even socially persecuted if people knew about us, so we are more than discreet.... clandestine. But we don't feel abominable. In fact we generally feel pretty healthy and OK about us.

It is interesting to get a view from the other side of your community and to realize..or more likely to be reminded that it is not just here on the Blogosphere but in the r/t community that your life would be judged as an abomination.

It is so hard to imagine so many people with so little to do that they need to spend energy judging others who's lives have no effect on their own.

We've been so intense here and so melancholy lately, perhaps soon our life will lighten and we can share the happier part of our lives. We are not emotionally masochistic, regardless of what has appeared here recently. We also are not about trying to provide a marketable blog. We provide who we are in our present.

Tom

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.

Why Would Anyone Want Two Wives?

One baffled (probably pretty vanilla) commenter awhile back, confronted with some story about the complexities of dealing with our poly household, asked, "Why would anyone want two wives?"

I think we probably just shined it on at the time, or maybe we offered some sort of philosophical discussion...

Then there's a situation that comes up like "The Trauma of the Messy Sports Coat," and it becomes abundantly clear EXACTLY WHY two wives are not only desirable but absolutely vitally necessary...

Himself has a fairly public sort of role, and every now and then it becomes necessary to dress Him up and make Him look presentable. It is simply a reality.

Sadly, another reality is that He is not a tidy or fastidious sort of fellow. In fact, He is a mess on feet.

The last time He wore His nice, navy blue blazer, He dumped some sort of mysterious whitish gunk on it which is absolutely impervious to any sort of effort to clean it with any methods known to mortal females (and the mortal females around here have a significant arsenal of cleaning tricks because, as discussed above, He's a mess...). Now, to be fair, I've known the blazer needed to be taken to the dry cleaners for a good long while -- several weeks at least. However, it has been challenging, because the schedules have been just wild, and the dry cleaning establishments seem bent on maintaining impossibly tight hours for those of us who work for a living. Plus the offending jacket remains in hiding in the closet from hell... So, I've frequently not thought of it except in the middle of the night.

Anyway, a crisis loomed on Sunday afternoon when, out of the blue, He suddenly remembered that He had a major event Monday evening -- and the jacket needed to be cleaned.

OH CRAP!!!

No cleaners open on Sunday afternoon. Need to find a "same day" dry cleaner to do the jacket on Monday. However, I have to be at work before any cleaners are open in the morning, and T has to work later than the time for the meeting to start.

AHHHHHH!!! The glories of having two wives. T, who starts work at 9 AM, hunted around to find the much sought after "same day" dry cleaner, took the messy jacket there, dropped it off, explained that I'd be picking it up, showed them the impossible white, icky stuff, and pre-paid for the whole deal. She then e-mailed me with the location of the cleaner and gave me the information needed to retrieve the precious jacket. I, in turn, bailed out of school early, tore off to the dry cleaner, explained who I was to the mystified dry cleaning lady, and retrieved the now fabulous, freshly cleaned, jacket, and took it home to the once again happy Dominant guy.

So, let's review: Why would anyone want two wives?

swan

October 18

My brother, Gregg, would have been 45 today.
He would have hated that.
Tall, and handsome. Lithe and beautiful. Gregg was my fabulous, flaming, taffeta-queen, queer brother. He was also my alter ego.
He succumbed to HIV AIDS in November just after his 31st birthday, and I seem to miss him more, not less, as I get older.
There were four of us. Me, and the three younger brothers. The two other boys seemed to align as a pair, and then there were Gregg and I. Somehow, we understood each other. Perhaps it was that "odd" otherness that we shared...
Anyway... I remember giving him a card in the last weeks of his life... Pooh to Piglet -- "I'll never ever forget you, Piglet..."

Happy Birthday, Piglet -- wherever you are.

swan