Making the Transition -- part 2

Living a school teacher's life means that my world divides, every year, into two distinct parts -- school time and summer time. Those two parts of the year are as different as can be from one another in terms of the demands on my energies, my time, my focus, my emotions, ... At so many levels, the shift from school to summer means a major shift of gears.

I've struggled this last week with making that shift.

One radical change that occurs at this time of the year is that my focus becomes incredibly much closer to home. Much more "internal" to our family and our own personal set of relationships. While, during the school year, I spend some significant part of my days, as "master" of my world, that ends abruptly when the school year ends.

Here at home, I am owned. I am slave. I belong to The Heretic. That is NOT a bad thing, but it is a major mental shift when it becomes the whole of one's days and nights suddenly. I find I want to be eased into it, reassured about it, touched and "handled" on my way back into it. The emotions that go with making the shift from busy, "in-charge" teacher, to home-body, chief cook and homemaker seem to make me want to curl into a ball and seek out some sort of help in redefining my sense of value and worth. All of the sudden, I find myself feeling uncertain and unsure, not clear how I feel or what I need or what is OK to even ask for...

Has been a difficult few days.

Getting settled down now(got "handled" some this morning), and it will be OK, but oh slaves are tricky critters...

swan

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