How I Became RAHeretic
Gabriel's recent post, "Pigeonholes are for Pigeons" at www.keeperandkept.blogspot.com reminded me of the genesis of my name RAHeretic.
Early on in my meanderings around in the realm of DD Listservs I found myself on a Listserv which was where I first encountered my swan. It was a rather prolific Listserv, and very heavily moderated by a very domineering moderator, who tended to censor the opinions expressed there and to be very prescriptive and dogmatic about what constituted the "correct" practice of Domestic Discipline. There was only one truly correct way to practice DD and that was the way the Moderator said to.......and BTW she based this expertise on two years of experience with her husband. The list was populated mostly by rank newbies who were feeling rather insecure in their newly found lifestyle. They were comforted by the Moderator's assurance that DD had nothing to do with BDSM.
Part of the Moderator's cyclically pontificating the true and correct practice of DD included a certain style of relating couples must engage in and that spankings could only be for discipline, they were not to be enjoyed or eroticized, and that a really good punishment session might entail 8 swats through jeans. She derided those who did not live their lives as she'd decreed to be the "correct and true" path as "Red-Assed DD-ers."
I entertained this concept for a few weeks with amazement but it wasn't too long before I rebelled. I decided to embrace the term red-assed DD and to vociferously proclaim my Heresy.
I lampooned her as the chief inquisitor of the Inquisition of DD lifetylers whose role was to seek out and banish those whose practice of DD was characterised by having far too much crimson in their nether regions.
I developed the chant of the red-assed DD-ers as they merrily marched off to the inquisition:
"Two, four, six, eight we love to spank and not relate! Eight, six, four, two We're really going to like it too!"
I was branded and of course banished. I was a Heretic. I was, worse yet, a Red-Assed Heretic.
I've proudly been RAHeretic ever since:)
Tom
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.
posted by Anonymous @ 10:57 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Actually Gabriel, I am Thomas and I am rather intrigued with pain so........:)
I am a professional trouble maker. It is a gift:)
All the best:)
Tom
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.
Searabbit, I think it is so important if two people embark on a new relationship that incorporates BDSM, that at least one of them have experience in "The Life," or that perhaps they be very closely enmeshed in BDSM community or prehaps even mentorship: not to dictate what must happen in their lives, but to make sure that what occurs is in the realm of Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK: My preferred paradigm to the over-used Safe Sane and Consensual.) I think someone who monitored your first relationship whould have intervened to point out that what you were experiencing was beyond RACK, and that you were being harmed.
I wish I could say that stories like yours are uncommon, but, in fact, the stories or people exploited and abused when new practitioners with no real life experience and nothing but some Internet reading, attempt to embark on a power exchange relationship. Often it is well meaning people who are hurt (on both ends of the power exchange) through insensitivity and ineptness.
If you have a long standing relationship with another and then incorporate BDSM there are great challenges too, but hopefully there is an underlying baseline of caring and respect based on years of pre-D/s relationship, that will prevent harm in whatever sort of power exchange evolves.
My pledge to play or lifestyle partners has always been, I will most certainly hurt you, and will enjoy it, but I will never harm you. I will do my best to help us both be safe and grow.
I'm happy that the damaging relationship that injured you is past and that you and Master are mutually fulfilling yourselves today.
I must admit you are so beautiful it causes me grief to not be able to imagine your bottom being lovingly blistered with regularity:)
But I know you and He are doing what is best and most healing for you both.
All the best:)
Tom
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.
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