The punishment question

My gateway into BDSM was through domestic discipline -- what some would call the watered down, sanitized, vanilla-cized version of the lifestyle that can be done safely in the confines of your own home, without ever having to admit that you are one of "them." Only, it didn't take me long to find my way into the deeper waters and know that I was, in fact, one of them, and love being so...

It also didn't take me long to come to be puzzled by the rule / failure / punishment dynamic that is usually so central to DD. I just never could, after the first little flush of gee whizness, "get" how one could go on breaking the rules time after time, and keep getting punished for essentially the same stuff over and over again. Within a matter of a very few weeks of starting DD, all the behaviors and issues that we had targeted for change HAD changed, and all the reasons to spank disciplinarily had evaporated into the mist never to be seen again. Even now, in a much more intense M/s relationship, punishment seldom comes into the picture. I know what is expected, and I do it. To fail to meet His requirements and expectations would mortify me to the point that I'd be devastated. So I just don't go there. On the very few occasions that I've merited punishment in the last couple of years, it has almost always been because of some emotional outburst indicative of extreme mental duress -- at least one or two of those episodes were, in fact, driven by adjustments to fairly potent psychotropic medication.

The simple fact is, in my view at least, that adults who are mentally competent, do what they are supposed to do; what they commit to do; what is required of them within the framework of their relationships. They do this without being continually supervised and without the threat of adverse consequences for failure to perform. So I've never understood the basic premise for much of DD... It always seems a construct designed to extract attention and the sense of "control" and feeling of being "dominated" without having to admit to that or ask for it.

However... Lately... Been being good a lot all by myself... And missing the hand that pulls me to Him and tells me that I am owned and His...

Maybe I do understand why one would be bad. Sometimes.

swan

Link