Friday is coming
Friday is coming.
On that day, Master will undergo cardiac catheterization, and I will not be there. At least, I will not be there when He goes to the hospital and they prep Him and take Him for the procedure.
T will go with Him and be with Him. I will be at school.
I have no personal days left because of my surgery last month. Because I am not "legally" His wife, not technically anything but a friend and neighbor as far as anyone knows, I have no legitimate reason to be there. If I were "wife," or even a some other kind of relative, I would, of course be given the time off to be there... But neighbors and friends just worry from afar...
The effect of being hidden; the effect of having no public status; is that my Love will go into this major procedure while I am miles away in a classroom full of adolescents, trying to act as if there is nothing at all going on.
I'll leave school about a half hour after the whole thing is scheduled to begin, and go flying across town just as fast as I possibly can. I'll get to Him as quickly as I can. Most likely, by then, He'll be already in the cath lab, and things will be in progress. I'll get there in time to sit with T, and wait to hear from the doctor.
There are times when I hardly notice the strictures that being the "other" in this poly arrangement place on my role. Certainly, within our family, I have no sense of being "other" or "less" or in anyway limited by the lack of "legal" status as "wife." This week though, I am finding that those who would argue that marriage ought to be limited to "one man and one woman" because that is the right and moral way -- because that STRENGTHENS families, are people who are just ignorant, who must just not get it. Or else they are just mean. Our family is not strengthened by not being able to wrap up in each other in the moments leading up to this -- we will be strong and we will get through this, but the fact that we cannot hold one another's hands because we must remember to keep the secret is just wicked. Damn all those who make that so!!!
swan Link
posted by Sue @ 6:49 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
My best wishes to your Master, sue.
I've been having a spot of heart bother, too, but it's in abeyance now - see my blog
Malcolm
Ahhh Sister-Heart....this is one time I most certainly do NOT want to be the only wife in attendance. I want us together supporting each other, all 3 of us. I am a big ole' "fluffy" gal with broad shoulders but sometimes it takes more than 1 pair a day to raise a Dominant! We will get thru' this one and we will get thru' the knee, just because that is what we do. And HE will be better for all of it. And we will be stronger and healthier and best of all TOGETHER! T
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