Needing

It has seemed that in the last few days, I've ached more and been more tender and just felt like this last bit of healing is interminable... and I have felt so needy. For all the endless and whiney carrying on that I am prone to about spanking, I have just been needing...

So, yesterday morning, when I couldn't do it again, and really couldn't sustain the physical jostling needed for our lovemaking either, and was up and about after breakfast feeling empty and hungry and useless and lost... I tried so hard to remember that slaves focus on the Master. So I ironed... Shirts and trousers all neat and crisp and pressed and hung neatly in the closet. And then I got myself all cleaned up and spiffed up and kissed Him sweetly and headed off for my doctor's appointment without ever mentioning to Him how really worried I was about this ache and pain that has been going on in my shoulder since before Christmas...

And then after that to the dentist to have my teeth cleaned.

Not home until almost 5:30, and by then I had a raging headache. But there was dinner to be made and put on the table.

I make a wicked crabcake. Acorn squash. Fresh broccoli. Sourdough bread. A nice white wine. I could barely eat, I was so sick. By all reports, it was a very good meal. I managed to get the table cleared and the most critical kitchen clean up done.

Staggered blindly off to bed and to sleep by 7 PM. Still so needy.

But then this morning, I woke from dreaming of spanking, and in my still sleepy, warm, nuzzly, happy softness, I told Him what I needed. He asked if it would be really OK, and I told Him, honestly, that I didn't really know, but... that I needed. And please, Sir, I need your hand -- please?

Ask, and you shall receive. Rolled over, onto my belly, hand spanked, and the Hanson paddle (which has not been out since before the appendix came out almost a month ago), and then the rattan cane. A real spanking! I moaned and groaned and sweated and sobbed and squirmed and gasped and panted and, when it was done, I lie on the mattress, spent and happy, tears in my eyes, gathered in His arms. Ahhhhhh...

swan